I’m going to talk about mental health as I suffer with depression, I was going to talk about it last week but I was having a up and down week.
I’ve suffer depression ever since I’ve remember that when I was a 12 year old, I remember when I started to feel worthless, unwanted and not wanted to be alive. I struggled with high school as I was getting picked on for the way I look, the weight, my disability and the way I am also I had many issues at home nobody knew what was going on as I couldn’t escape from my problems.
The only thing would help me escape from reality is listening to MUSIC.
No child or teenager shouldn’t have to go through many issues especially abuse when it should have been a good childhood.
I would speak to other teenagers online especially on website makers or YouTube even people I’ve met on holidays I could able to myself on msn messenger and cheer me up.
At 15 i started to self harm when I did it at the time it felt good to ease the pain I was feeling at the time. I would cover it all p wearing jackets and long sleeve tops so nobody noticed it. I’ve struggled on and off for self harming for good 8 years I haven’t thought of self harming for good 6 months.
Last year I was in a bad place as I thought about my past, worthless, ugly. I felt everything would be okay when I got in touch with my dad this time last year, but weeks into getting to know my dad everything hit me like a tonne of bricks, what I went through which I though I deserved at the time.
I end up having counselling last October which it was as I had 12 sessions also the counsellor was amazing able to help me think differently. I will admit I did struggle at first 6 weeks as I would burst into tears when I had to talk about everything but it got easier towards to end as I accepted I didn’t deserve the abuse.
Now I can handle things better and let go of my past as I know it wasn’t my fault. I’m in a better place having my dad, Nan and good friends to be there for me when I need them. I do have my good, bad and ugly days but I know some people don’t agree with antidepressants but it really has helped me as I’m on 100mg sertraline a day. I’ll admit I will scared to go off them incase I go back in a bad place again even though I’m in a better place.